Welcome to Ask Trevor

Welcome to Ask Trevor
Ask Trevor is an online, non-time sensitive question and answer resource for young people with questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity. Browse the published letters or submit your own letter.

Before submitting a letter, please be aware that letters are experiencing a longer than normal wait period. If you are in immediate crisis, please call The Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386.
All calls are confidential and toll-free from anywhere in the United States, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Please don’t hesitate to reach out. You are not alone.

You can also access TrevorChat, our crisis chat service, at: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/get-help-now available 7 days a week from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. Pacific / 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Eastern.

Please note: If you reside outside the United States and you are currently in crisis or suicidal, you will not be able to access The Trevor Lifeline or TrevorChat. If you are outside of the U.S. and need to talk to someone immediately, please see the following link to international hotlines: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html. If you are suicidal, please seek help at the nearest emergency room.

Your letters are very important to us and all letters will be reviewed and responded to in the near future.

Hope you are having a great summer!

A girl at school


I really like this girl, I get really excited when he comes to school. She’s nice, funny and she thinks I’m pretty cool too! She doesn’t know about me. I don’t think I should tell her though I don’t know how she’s gonna react.




It is such a personal decision – choosing to share your orientation with others. The most important thing, before telling anyone, is to make sure you feel comfortable and safe with that person and anyone else that she may tell. Letting friends know about this important part of your life can help you feel less alone and possibly give you new friends and people to date. That is certainly a positive!!

You have some concerns about how she will react. That is understandable. Have you ever talked about LGBT issues with her? Do you know how she feels about gay or lesbian relationships in general? One thing you could do is start a conversation with her about an LGBT actor or character in a movie/tv show. That could help you to know how she might feel if you choose to tell her about yourself.

Whether she ends up being just a friend, or more than that, the important thing is to be honest, respectful and kind to each other. Be open to her thoughts, opinions and choices and hopefully she will be with yours too. I would like to invite you to join us on TrevorSpace (www.trevorspace.org). This is our online social networking site for LGBTQ young people. It is a great supportive community where you can connect with others who might be having the same questions and experiences as you are having. We also offer our Lifeline(866-488-7386), TrevorChat and TrevorText. For more information on these (and lots of other good stuff!) visit us at www.thetrevorproject.org.

I wish you all the best. Take Care!