Welcome to Ask Trevor

Ask Trevor is an online question and answer resource for young people who have questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity.

On September 1st, Ask Trevor will be transitioning to become a broader more effective resource for LGBTQ young people and their allies. This means we will no longer be accepting incoming letters starting on Tuesday, September 2nd. However, if you send us a letter before September 2nd, you will receive a response. Please note that your wait time may be longer than usual. In the meantime, please continue to browse through our extensive library of previously answered letters, and stay tuned for what’s coming next!

If you are feeling suicidal, or need to talk to someone right away, please call the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386. It’s available 24/7, 365 days a year. You can also chat with a Trevor counselor at Trvr.org/Chat from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. PT / 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. ET.

Please note: If you live outside of the United States and need to talk to someone, please seek help at the nearest emergency room or check out the following international hotlines: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

You are never alone. Thank you for reaching out to The Trevor Project for support!

A girl at school


I really like this girl, I get really excited when he comes to school. She’s nice, funny and she thinks I’m pretty cool too! She doesn’t know about me. I don’t think I should tell her though I don’t know how she’s gonna react.




It is such a personal decision – choosing to share your orientation with others. The most important thing, before telling anyone, is to make sure you feel comfortable and safe with that person and anyone else that she may tell. Letting friends know about this important part of your life can help you feel less alone and possibly give you new friends and people to date. That is certainly a positive!!

You have some concerns about how she will react. That is understandable. Have you ever talked about LGBT issues with her? Do you know how she feels about gay or lesbian relationships in general? One thing you could do is start a conversation with her about an LGBT actor or character in a movie/tv show. That could help you to know how she might feel if you choose to tell her about yourself.

Whether she ends up being just a friend, or more than that, the important thing is to be honest, respectful and kind to each other. Be open to her thoughts, opinions and choices and hopefully she will be with yours too. I would like to invite you to join us on TrevorSpace (www.trevorspace.org). This is our online social networking site for LGBTQ young people. It is a great supportive community where you can connect with others who might be having the same questions and experiences as you are having. We also offer our Lifeline(866-488-7386), TrevorChat and TrevorText. For more information on these (and lots of other good stuff!) visit us at www.thetrevorproject.org.

I wish you all the best. Take Care!