Welcome to Ask Trevor

Ask Trevor is an online, non-time sensitive question and answer resource for young people with questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity. Browse the published letters or submit your own letter.

If you are in immediate crisis, please call The Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386. All calls are confidential and toll-free from anywhere in the United States, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Please don’t hesitate to reach out. You are not alone.

You can also access TrevorChat, our crisis chat service, at: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/get-help-now available 7 days a week from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. Pacific / 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Eastern.

Your letters are very important to us and all letters will be reviewed and responded to in the near future.

Please note: If you reside outside the United States and you are currently in crisis or suicidal, you will not be able to access The Trevor Lifeline or TrevorChat. If you are outside of the U.S. and need to talk to someone immediately, please see the following link to hotlines outside the United States: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html. If you are suicidal, please seek help at the nearest emergency room.

am i bisexual?

Question:

so this year i’ve been thinking about dating a girl but i know i like guys. So how do i find out if my sexuality is bisexual or not? And i’m a Christian so i dont know if i should even act on it.

Answer:

It is great that you reached out to us. I know this can be scary and life brings with it a lot of questions. I will assure you that you are not alone, even though it may feel this way. First, there is nothing wrong with you for thinking about dating a girl even with being a Christian. You may have been taught that being gay, lesbian or bisexual is a “sin,” but there are religious institutions out there that are not against being gay, lesbian or bisexual and are in fact, very supportive. One of the Christian institutions that are supportive is called the Metropolitan Community Church. If you would like to read more information about sexuality and religion here are two great resources: One is a great guide to read called, “Faith in our Families: Parents and Friends Talk about Religion and Homosexuality.” It can be found at http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/FaithinourFamilies.pdf. And the other resource is at http://www.welcomingresources.org/.

Learning more about our sexuality and what we are attracted to come with time. Sometimes it takes the experience of dating different types of people to find out more about our likes and dislikes. Thinking about dating a girl will not automatically make you “bisexual.” You may find that you are into it or you may find that you are not. I can only imagine that you must be feeling lost, alone and possibly isolated. That is why I will suggest that you join Trevor Space. It’s a really great way to speak to others in similar situations. As time goes on and you grow as a person you will gain more of an understanding of who you are. I encourage you to reach out to people of faith and others who are non-judgmental and accepting. It may be hard to believe but they do exist.

If you prefer to talk to someone further about this anonymously you can call the Trevor Project Life-Line at 866-488-7386. It is free and confidential. If you do not feel comfortable talking you can contact Trevor Chat at http://www.thetrevorproject.org/chat. If for some reason you have difficulty connecting with someone right away another similar resource you can use is the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, National Youth Talk line. They can also be of great assistance. They can be reached at 1-800-246-PRIDE or you can visit their website at GLNH.org to view a variety of their resources. Remember, you are not alone and there are many people out there willing to listen to you. Please contact us again if need be. We are always here for you.

Sincerely,

Trevor