I never thought that I would be asking this but… I think I’m trans the reason for this being is that in the past year I would have these dreams about becoming female, and now I desperately want to be female like extremely badly am I trans? I’m so confused right now I don’t know what to think.
Letter submitted by:
I’m really glad you wrote in to Ask Trevor. Coming to terms with your gender identity can be really hard and I know can make you feel confused and anxious and sometimes lonely. I can tell from your letter that you are a very thoughtful person and so you need to be able to talk out all the feelings and questions you are having right now.
Questioning your gender identity is a perfectly natural and normal thing to do. We are all individuals; we each have different ways of exploring and expressing our gender. It’s natural, normal and good. The hard part sometimes, is just figuring it all out.
Gender, like sexuality, is a “fluid” concept (meaning it is not set in stone), and many of us fall somewhere on a spectrum meaning that some people, over time, discover they don’t identify as 100% male or female, and that’s ok. Feel free to check out these resources: they are a great place to start and may help you as you work through this process.
This is The Trevor Project’s very own “Understanding Gender,” resource: http://s.bsd.net/trevor/default/page/-/files/resources/UnderstandingGender.pdf
Advocates for Youth also has an awesome brochure by and for Transgender Youth called, “I Think I Might Be Transgender, Now What Do I Do?” it explores topics like, what does it mean to be transgender and how do I know if I’m transgender? http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=731&Itemid=177
The Gender Book is a fun and free resource for navigating and learning about the infinite possibilities of gender identity. It covers topics such as; what is gender, gender versus sex, gender through history, and much more! http://issuu.com/thegenderbook/docs/the_gender_book/1?e=3293111/2661900
It’s very hard to address this on your own; sharing your feelings with someone who you trust can be really helpful. If there’s anyone who you feel safe talking about this with, either a parent, relative, teacher, school counselor or friend, consider using them as a resource. But remember: there’s no rush; you are in charge here, so feel free to proceed at your own pace.
TrevorSpace is a great resource for you if you choose to access it at www.trevorspace.org. It is The Trevor Project’s safe, online social networking site for LGBTQ young people ages 13 to 24 their friends and allies. It’s a great supportive community where you can connect with others who may have the same questions that you’re having about your gender identity.
Remember we are always here for you. You can call The Trevor Lifeline any time day or night to talk to someone at 1-866-488-7386.
Good luck to you,