Welcome to Ask Trevor

Ask Trevor is an online question and answer resource for young people who have questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity.

On September 1st, Ask Trevor will be transitioning to become a broader more effective resource for LGBTQ young people and their allies. This means we will no longer be accepting incoming letters starting on Tuesday, September 2nd. However, if you send us a letter before September 2nd, you will receive a response. Please note that your wait time may be longer than usual. In the meantime, please continue to browse through our extensive library of previously answered letters, and stay tuned for what’s coming next!

If you are feeling suicidal, or need to talk to someone right away, please call the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386. It’s available 24/7, 365 days a year. You can also chat with a Trevor counselor at Trvr.org/Chat from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. PT / 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. ET.

Please note: If you live outside of the United States and need to talk to someone, please seek help at the nearest emergency room or check out the following international hotlines: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

You are never alone. Thank you for reaching out to The Trevor Project for support!

Attracted to every guy in school

Question:

I go to a reasonably large school and since I started secondary school I was attracted to all the boys I’m my year some in the years above and below. Trust me, I’ve spent endless nights think about them.

In primary school apparently there was another gay guy who i have a massive crush on but I don’t know if he’s still gay as it’s never been mentioned.
What should I do?

Thanks

 

Answer:

 

Hey there,

Having a massive crush on a guy that you think might be gay is not fun… especially when you do not know his sexual orientation. Perhaps he is bisexual and enjoys both genders. Perhaps he is gay and likes guys only, or perhaps he is straight and likes gals only. This can be bothersome especially if it is someone that you have a crush on. You can find out by asking this person you have a crush on.

I have few questions that may be helpful for you:

1. What is your relationship with this guy? Is he your friend? An acquaintance? Someone you notice in the hallway? Your classmate? Depending on your relationship with this person, you may want to be gentle to ask his sexual orientation. Sometimes people hint in by bringing up LGBTQ topics… Sometimes people straightforwardly ask. It all depends on your relationship with him.

2. How did you discover that he’s gay? If enough evidences show that he is gay, then it is likely that he is indeed still gay. Then again, it depends on how he identifies himself. Aforementioned, he could be bisexual, etc.

The best way to find out is by asking. Asking about sexual orientation can be uncomfortable for some people. It is completely normal if you are nervous to ask him. If you have a friend or a family member who knows your sexual orientation and is comfortable with your sexual orientation, you could ask him/her for assistance or advices.

I hope this letter gives you courage. If you have any more question, we at The Trevor Project are here for you, every day.

With love and support,
Ask Trevor