Welcome to Ask Trevor

Welcome to Ask Trevor
Ask Trevor is an online, non-time sensitive question and answer resource for young people with questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity. Browse the published letters or submit your own letter.

ATTENTION!
Before submitting a letter, please be aware that letters are experiencing a longer than normal wait period. If you are in immediate crisis, please call The Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386.
All calls are confidential and toll-free from anywhere in the United States, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Please don’t hesitate to reach out. You are not alone.

You can also access TrevorChat, our crisis chat service, at: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/get-help-now available 7 days a week from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. Pacific / 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Eastern.

Please note: If you reside outside the United States and you are currently in crisis or suicidal, you will not be able to access The Trevor Lifeline or TrevorChat. If you are outside of the U.S. and need to talk to someone immediately, please see the following link to international hotlines: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html. If you are suicidal, please seek help at the nearest emergency room.

Your letters are very important to us and all letters will be reviewed and responded to in the near future.

Hope you are having a great summer!

august

Question:

I’m gay but not a youth, so if I’m not eligible, ignore the following. If you know an appropriate organization, please let me know.

I’m an international student living in Stats for three years. To make a long story short, I’m in financial hardship since I was deceived and now ignored by a man whom I had a relationship with. He is an assistant professor of the graduate school which I’m attending now. I talked to other professors and the Dean on this topic, but they have concluded without sufficient investigation that he did nothing wrong and school has no responsibility on this topic. Now I’m not allowed to talk to the assistant professor. They gave me information about free school counseling although they have never admitted their mistake.

Then, I talked to a school ombudsperson, but he said, “Although the assistant professor gave you wrong information, this is your choice to believe him. You need to take your responsibility, and school has no responsibility at all in this case. If you want to sue him and school, go ahead”. How come an international student can make a lawsuit?

Anyway, I’m trying to find a job right now to continue my college career, but it seems very negative. My saving will run out in August, which means my life will run out at that point. I’m taking summer session and give advice for younger classmates. I get involved in volunteer works and talk to other volunteers and refugees. Those are my last word. If my will encourages them, that would be my pleasure.

If you try to give me comfort, thank you but no thank you. Only the justice can comfort me.

Letter submitted by:

Answer:

Thank you for reaching out to us at the Trevor Project, we will never turn away someone in need, regardless of their age. It sounds like you have been betrayed by someone important to you, and that is painful and very challenging to deal with.

Although the feelings you have about your situation may cause you to think that your life is over, there are possible ways forward, even if they appear to be impossible at the moment. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to help yourself and make your difficult situation better but if you ever feel like harming yourself please call the Trevor lifeline at 1-866-4-U-Trevor, 24 hours 7 days a week. And if you feel like you are going to act on your thoughts of suicide, call 911 or get to the nearest hospital emergency room in order to be safe. The most important thing is that you remain safe and get immediate help if you feel like hurting yourself.

We completely understand that the only real comfort in your situation would be justice. If you would like to speak to an organization (Lambda Legal) that aids the LGBTQ community in the United States, please check out their website at http://www.lambdalegal.org/about-us/contact-us. They are qualified to answer legal questions and can hopefully give you some direction.

Please remember that we are here to support you as best we can and want you to know we value you and your safety. Please reach out to us again any time and good luck!

Trevor Staff