I came out in January 2013. My parents said they supported me and I was happy because I didn’t feel like I had anything to hide anymore.
I live in a small town so word of my sexuality went around quickly. At school, I began getting threats. I was sexually harassed and abused by a female classmate. She would do inappropriate things to me at school and shove me into lockers. When I went to my principal, he didn’t do anything about it. I became really depressed because I felt like every one hated me and my friends were leaving. I dealt with depression and selfharm at the time, but it got so much worse than it was. I even tried killing myself.
I went to the superintendant about it three times and they didn’t do anything to the girl. They made me apologize for being bisexual and I got suspended for three days. Nothing happened to the girl, but it just continued getting worse.
I had a girlfriend for a few months and she broke up with me because she said it was wrong and that she couldn’t live in sin and that God would hate me forever. She told me I was going to rot in hell. After her, I had another girlfriend and we stayed together for a while until the school said that it maded other students uncomfortable… We’re still together
I’m starting my freshmen year August 19th and I’m terrified to go back because of everything that’s happened… Me and my girlfriend have made plans to homecoming (it’s september so we had to make plans early.) because our school has a new principal this year, but we are seriously debating cancelling the plans and staying home. She’s told me that she’s afraid to walk down the hall as a couple, even though she’s out too.
I just need help with dealing with the horrible things people say about us and what to do when the adults who are supposed to protect us… don’t.
Letter submitted by:
Thank you very much for writing in to us. This was a brave thing to do. First and foremost it is important for you to know that it is never ever okay for anyone to bully you — physically, verbally or emotionally. Being bullied is not your fault as you have done nothing wrong.
I hope that you are no longer depressed or hurt yourself. If you ever feel this way, please talk to someone that you trust. This can be your parents, a teacher, a counselor or a friend.
With regards to the bullying, this is not acceptable and I am sorry that your superintendent asked you to apologize for being who you are. You should never have to apologize for being true to yourself. Although, you may feel very alone right now, it is important for you to have someone to talk to. Are there any teachers or counselors that you trust? Maybe your girlfriend can offer you some support or maybe you can talk to this new principal? If your parents do not know that any of this is going on, it is important for them to know. If there are no adults that you feel you can trust or that will help you, can you go to the police or local law enforcement? It is against the law for anyone to physically hurt you for any reason, regardless of your sexuality. If this is not an option for you, you can try reaching out to a nearby LGBT group — Stonewall Columbus offers counseling for 18 and over adults; however, they also provide referrals for those youth under the age of 18 (www.stonewallcolumbus.org).
I hope that you found this to be helpful and know that bullying is not okay and is not your fault. Many people bully out of their own insecurity and there are adults out there to help you. Maybe you and your girlfriend can find these adults together. It may help you both to become more comfortable at school and less scared to be who you are and attend homecoming as originally planned. If you ever have thoughts to hurt yourself again, please tell someone right away. If you can’t find someone to trust, we are always here to listen — 1.866.488.7386. Best wishes from all of us at The Trevor Project, you are never alone!