Welcome to Ask Trevor

Ask Trevor is an online, non-time sensitive question and answer resource for young people with questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity. Browse the published letters or submit your own letter.

If you are in immediate crisis, please call The Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386. All calls are confidential and toll-free from anywhere in the United States, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Please don’t hesitate to reach out. You are not alone.

You can also access TrevorChat, our crisis chat service, at: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/get-help-now available 7 days a week from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. Pacific / 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Eastern.

Your letters are very important to us and all letters will be reviewed and responded to in the near future.

Please note: If you reside outside the United States and you are currently in crisis or suicidal, you will not be able to access The Trevor Lifeline or TrevorChat. If you are outside of the U.S. and need to talk to someone immediately, please see the following link to hotlines outside the United States: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html. If you are suicidal, please seek help at the nearest emergency room.

Can I be both bi and pansexual?

Question:

Can I be both bi and pansexual? What’s the difference between them? Because I think I’m both bi and pansexual, but I don’t know if people will take me seriously, as in, does both bi and pan exist? In the same person? Thanks, I just a bit confused.

Letter submitted by:

Answer:

Julia,

You asked a fantastic question, and one that deserves exploring. I’m glad you decided to reach out to us! It is very natural to have many questions about your sexuality as you get older, especially because there seem to be so many different sexual identities out there. It can get confusing sometimes! Its great that you have discovered you’re a part of this beautiful diversity, and I hope I can bring you some clarity about your sexuality.

Bisexuality and pansexuality are terms that can mean different things for different people. For some people, the terms cover the same idea. For others, they mean different things. Bisexuality is commonly thought of as being attracted to both men and women while pansexuality is commonly thought of being attracted to people regardless of their gender. However, these terms are not concrete and strictly defined for all people who identify as either bisexual or pansexual.

Whether you think you are both bisexual and pansexual is really up to you! If you don’t feel comfortable labeling yourself as one or the other, perhaps describing yourself as both makes more sense to you. Trust your own judgment.

Please take a look at this page, as it explains the difference between “gender” and “sex.” You may also want to click here (this page explains the difference between bisexuals and pansexuals more in-depth). Also, if you are feeling alone or you want to chat with more like-minded people who may have the same questions, please create an account with TrevorSpace. Its free, private, and is a great place to make friends! Please call 1-866-488-7386 if you are in crisis or need to talk to someone.

Remember that it is completely okay to question your sexuality and to ask others whom you trust, about your sexuality. Don’t hesitate to write to us again if you have further questions.

Sincerely,

The Trevor Project