Welcome to Ask Trevor

Welcome to Ask Trevor
Ask Trevor is an online, non-time sensitive question and answer resource for young people with questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity. Browse the published letters or submit your own letter.

Before submitting a letter, please be aware that letters are experiencing a longer than normal wait period. If you are in immediate crisis, please call The Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386.
All calls are confidential and toll-free from anywhere in the United States, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Please don’t hesitate to reach out. You are not alone.

You can also access TrevorChat, our crisis chat service, at: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/get-help-now available 7 days a week from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. Pacific / 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Eastern.

Please note: If you reside outside the United States and you are currently in crisis or suicidal, you will not be able to access The Trevor Lifeline or TrevorChat. If you are outside of the U.S. and need to talk to someone immediately, please see the following link to international hotlines: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html. If you are suicidal, please seek help at the nearest emergency room.

Your letters are very important to us and all letters will be reviewed and responded to in the near future.

Hope you are having a great summer!

coming out to the school


OK, so I have already came out to my family and closest friends but I wantthe people in my class to also know but it feels like I am just gonna make It really awkward in the lockeroom and I need a good way (speech) to come out please help me

Letter submitted by:



Thank you very much for writing in to the Trevor Project!  We are very glad to hear that you have come out to your family and closest friends and that it apparently went well!  Coming out to a larger group of people is challenging and we are glad that you are being careful about it.

It is good to not have secrets in your life and to be able to be yourself, but you should only come out to more people if you are comfortable with this and think that you will be safe afterwards.  Here are some good resources that you can look into for advice on coming out to larger groups:




When you say “locker room,” that suggests you may be on a sports team, which can be even more difficult, since you are in close contact with your teammates in some sports and some of them may not want to be around you in the locker room when they are changing clothes.  In the United States, we have a number of publications and organizations that support gay athletes, such as the “You Can Play” project and “OutSports” magazine that will show you there are plenty of gay athletes out there and may even have some advice on how specifically you can come out to teammates.

You can also use other Trevor Project resources such as TrevorSpace at www.trevorspace.org. It’s the Trevor Project’s safe, online social networking site for LGBTQ young people ages 13 to 24 their friends and allies. It’s a great supportive community where you can connect with others who might have had or are having the same questions that you’re having about your sexuality/gender identity.

Trevor Staff