Welcome to Ask Trevor

Welcome to Ask Trevor
Ask Trevor is an online, non-time sensitive question and answer resource for young people with questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity. Browse the published letters or submit your own letter.

ATTENTION!
Before submitting a letter, please be aware that letters are experiencing a longer than normal wait period. If you are in immediate crisis, please call The Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386.
All calls are confidential and toll-free from anywhere in the United States, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Please don’t hesitate to reach out. You are not alone.

You can also access TrevorChat, our crisis chat service, at: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/get-help-now available 7 days a week from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. Pacific / 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Eastern.

Please note: If you reside outside the United States and you are currently in crisis or suicidal, you will not be able to access The Trevor Lifeline or TrevorChat. If you are outside of the U.S. and need to talk to someone immediately, please see the following link to international hotlines: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html. If you are suicidal, please seek help at the nearest emergency room.

Your letters are very important to us and all letters will be reviewed and responded to in the near future.

Hope you are having a great summer!

Hopeless Romance

Question:

Hi. They call me Jello and I have no idea what to do… You see I have a huge crush on my best friend… And he is completely oblivious about it… I constantly flirt with him yet he doesn’t see it… Well I got tired of it and I told him my feelings… He’s still y best friend but when in around him I feel awkward… And he treats my feelings as a joke and jokes around with me about them a lot… He told me I have little to no chance with him and that hurts a lot in itself… Multiple people have told him we’d be cute together and to at least give me a chance but he keeps saying no… And it’s getting harder and harder to even look at him without wanting to cry… Plus soon he’s moving out of state and I’m afraid I’ll never see him again… I really love him… I just don’t know what to do about it…

Answer:

Dear Jello,

You took that brave step and confided in your friend about your feelings. Please don’t ever regret that. Expressing to some one that you care about them is a special thing and a great gift we can give each other. Does it always turn in to what we want it to be? Gosh, I wish it did!

It sounds like your friend is choosing to joke about it because he may be feeling a little uncomfortable. For instance, he may want to keep your relationship the same as it’s always been, best friends, and thats causing him to be unsure how to act around you. And although you may not realize it, you may be acting a little differently around him now also. Sometimes, no matter how much we love a person and wish we could have something more intimate with them, it just isn’t the right person at the right time. It sounds like this guy is very important to you and with him moving out of state I would encourage you to do what you can to remain close friends.

Jello, the good news is I am pretty sure that this will not be the last person that will inspire these feelings in you. Try to stay open to letting people into your life. Don’t give up on romance! You will find it. And along the way you will make friends that will last a lifetime. I hope you will check out TrevorSpace sometime (www.trevorspace.org). This is The Trevor Projects safe, online social networking site for LGBTQ young people, ages 13 to 24. It is a great supportive community where you can connect with others who might have had, or are having, the same questions and experiences that you are. And if you would like to talk to someone in ‘live time’ please jump into our chat room at www.TheTrevorProject.org/Chat. Take Care, Jello.

Trevor Staff