Welcome to Ask Trevor

Ask Trevor is an online question and answer resource for young people who have questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity.

On September 1st, Ask Trevor will be transitioning to become a broader more effective resource for LGBTQ young people and their allies. This means we will no longer be accepting incoming letters starting on Tuesday, September 2nd. However, if you send us a letter before September 2nd, you will receive a response. Please note that your wait time may be longer than usual. In the meantime, please continue to browse through our extensive library of previously answered letters, and stay tuned for what’s coming next!

If you are feeling suicidal, or need to talk to someone right away, please call the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386. It’s available 24/7, 365 days a year. You can also chat with a Trevor counselor at Trvr.org/Chat from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. PT / 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. ET.

Please note: If you live outside of the United States and need to talk to someone, please seek help at the nearest emergency room or check out the following international hotlines: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

You are never alone. Thank you for reaching out to The Trevor Project for support!

How do I know?

Question:

Um…I know I’m genderqueer, but lately I’ve been feeling more like I’m transgender. How do I know if I am Transgender? and What can I do about those feelings now?

Answer:

Knowing whether or not you are transgender is definitely discovered after a journey of exploration and not something that will necessarily be apparent to you at a given, specific time. But there does come a point of ultimate understanding, revelation if you will, and since since you have been feeling more like you identify as transgender, I do want to provide the following resource for you, http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=731&Itemid=177 – which can help you answer various questions you may have and will help guide you through next steps.

Once you peruse the PDF at the link above, you’ll undoubtedly have at least one question, if not more. With your questions, I encourage you to seek out a trusted adult, parent, relative, teacher, school counselor or even a best friend. But make sure it is a safe environment in which you can openly express your thoughts, feelings and emotions. In addition to speaking with some one in person, you should also check out a wonderful outlet we offer here, TrevorSpace – www.trevorspace.org – which is a safe online network for LGBTQ youth ages 13 to 24, their friends and allies. It’s a supportive community where you can connect with others who might have gone through this same issue or who are having the same questions that you’re having about your gender identity. Another program we have, TrevorChat, http://www.thetrevorproject.org/chat, is also a great means of receiving answers and help as you navigate through this discovery period. It’s a real-time chat program staffed by Trevor Project volunteers – check out the link and find a time that works for your schedule.

In regard to what you can do about your feelings now, explore them. Explore your feelings, your senses and get to know yourself even better than you already do. Take note of how long you have felt this way and analyze how identifying as transgender will impact you. If you are in a safe and supportive environment, coming out to others with this information and even eventually transitioning will not be as difficult, but it will not be easy. Remember that despite your surroundings and environment that there are people in our society, in our country and throughout our world who support you and champion you. You are meant to live true to yourself and in exploring your feelings, once you determine how you should be living for you and no one else, you’ll know it. It will be liberating, freeing.

Lastly, I do want to acknowledge that exploring these things will not always be easy, and that you can quickly find yourself in moments of depression and sadness, which is perfectly normal. And when this happens, I want to remind you that we are here for you. We’re here to support you, provide a listening ear and to help you talk through your situation while offering help in identifying next steps to keep you moving forward. So give us a call at the Trevor Lifeline, 1-866-488-7386, which is available to you and anyone you may know 24/7/365. Keep your head up and remember that you are special and here for a reason.

~ Trevor