Welcome to Ask Trevor

Ask Trevor is an online question and answer resource for young people who have questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity.

On September 1st, Ask Trevor will be transitioning to become a broader more effective resource for LGBTQ young people and their allies. This means we will no longer be accepting incoming letters starting on Tuesday, September 2nd. However, if you send us a letter before September 2nd, you will receive a response. Please note that your wait time may be longer than usual. In the meantime, please continue to browse through our extensive library of previously answered letters, and stay tuned for what’s coming next!

If you are feeling suicidal, or need to talk to someone right away, please call the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386. It’s available 24/7, 365 days a year. You can also chat with a Trevor counselor at Trvr.org/Chat from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. PT / 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. ET.

Please note: If you live outside of the United States and need to talk to someone, please seek help at the nearest emergency room or check out the following international hotlines: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

You are never alone. Thank you for reaching out to The Trevor Project for support!

I don’t know why I did it, but I did


The other day I was getting a bath and I was laying in the water with my eyes closed thinking about everything. I got really worked up about a few of the things and started to get upset. I looked at the water then slowly put myself under the water totally. I stayed under the water for as long as I could, until I couldn’t breathe, plus sometime longer. I didn’t want to be here anymore. But I got scared and got out quickly. I have so many things on my mind. The way I look, the way people treat me for the way I look, and a lot of other things. I’ve thought about giving up before, but never really tried it until the other day. Now I am just scared, and I don’t know what to do anymore.

Original letter submitted by:



Thank you for writing in about how you feel. That is the first and best step you could have taken. No matter how tough life may seem, you need to know that your not alone. There are people that care about you, just the way that you are. The first thing you should do is talk with a trusted adult immediately to discuss the feelings you are having. This trusted adult might be a parent, relative, teacher, school counselor, or a doctor. You know if there is no one you feel you can trust talking to about your feelings you can always call the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-4-U-Trevor, 24 Hours a day, 7 days a week. There will be someone there you can trust to talk about your feelings.

If you ever feel like acting on your thoughts of harming yourself you need to call 911, or go to your hospital emergency room in order to be safe.

It is best when you have so many thoughts on your mind to talk about them with a trusted adult, that way the both of your can discuss them and come up with ways to work on them so they are not bothering you anymore.

There is help for you; here are some resources you may want to consider. ReachOut.com has resources that will help you get help about how to cope with your thoughts, you can visit them here: http://us.reachout.com Another resource you could consider is: http://www.glsen.org

Just remember no matter what there is someone out there willing to listen to you and who cares about you. If you have anymore questions please write in again, call the Trevor Lifeline, or try Trevor Chat, either way, we are here for you no matter what.