Welcome to Ask Trevor

Welcome to Ask Trevor
Ask Trevor is an online, non-time sensitive question and answer resource for young people with questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity. Browse the published letters or submit your own letter.

Before submitting a letter, please be aware that letters are experiencing a longer than normal wait period. If you are in immediate crisis, please call The Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386.
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Please note: If you reside outside the United States and you are currently in crisis or suicidal, you will not be able to access The Trevor Lifeline or TrevorChat. If you are outside of the U.S. and need to talk to someone immediately, please see the following link to international hotlines: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html. If you are suicidal, please seek help at the nearest emergency room.

Your letters are very important to us and all letters will be reviewed and responded to in the near future.

Hope you are having a great summer!

i dont want to be like this


I am 16. I have had feelings for my friend, that’s a girl, for a while. I don’t want to even think that I am but I am a lesbian. I told my friends and they are okay with it. I haven’t told my parents. I’m not okay with being a lesbian. I live in a religious family. I don’t want to even think about it. I want to refuse everything to do with being a lesbian, but there is a part of me that says that I am . I do not want to be a lesbian.

Letter submitted by:


Dear brebre,

Wow! So much courage you have for writing to The Trevor Project and asking for help. You are an amazing individual, to be so conflicted, but yet to reach out for help. First off, do not be so quick to label yourself and to believe that your feelings are concrete for your friend that you happen to have more feelings for. The term “lesbian” applies that a female can be sexually, romantically, and physically attracted to another female. Do you feel these exact same feelings that progress when you think about your friend? Maybe, your friend is just really awesome and you may be afraid of confused about how you should feel about your friend that you have such a wonderful relationship with? To help you better understand your feelings here are some resources to help you:






In regards to your family and the religious beliefs, there are many sections of the different denominations of the world that accept anyone that may fall under the umbrella of the LGBTQIA community. http://www.hrc.org/resources/entry/what-does-the-bible-say-about-homosexuality

Loving another individual is not a sin, and it is not unnatural at all. You should take some time out for yourself to be able to decipher whether you really have concrete for your friend or not. You are a strong and wonderful individual. Who you happen to love is not something that you should be ashamed of because it is not unnatural instead it is beautiful because it means you are a human being; and it is only a small part of you, not your whole identity. You are still young and still have your whole life ahead of you to be able to figure yourself out. One by one, should you find yourself and learn to be more comfortable with all of the facets of yourself; because once you are, everything else can and will feel easier because there are no enemies within. Stay strong. Just take things one at a time. If you would like to, as well, there is a social networking site where you can connect with other individuals your age and be able to express even further what you feel and find new friends that share the same feelings as you. www.trevorspace.org

You are worth everything. Breathe. The Trevor Project is always here for you, 24/7, please call 1-866-488-7386 if you ever just need or want someone to talk to. We are here to always listen and help. Take care of yourself! You will get through this!

Warmest Regards,

AskTrevor Author



Trevor Staff