Welcome to Ask Trevor

Ask Trevor is an online question and answer resource for young people who have questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity.

On September 1st, Ask Trevor will be transitioning to become a broader more effective resource for LGBTQ young people and their allies. This means we will no longer be accepting incoming letters starting on Tuesday, September 2nd. However, if you send us a letter before September 2nd, you will receive a response. Please note that your wait time may be longer than usual. In the meantime, please continue to browse through our extensive library of previously answered letters, and stay tuned for what’s coming next!

If you are feeling suicidal, or need to talk to someone right away, please call the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386. It’s available 24/7, 365 days a year. You can also chat with a Trevor counselor at Trvr.org/Chat from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. PT / 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. ET.

Please note: If you live outside of the United States and need to talk to someone, please seek help at the nearest emergency room or check out the following international hotlines: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

You are never alone. Thank you for reaching out to The Trevor Project for support!

I feel like I’m going mad.


Hello, Trevor.

I am having a hard time.  Anastaica’s lover, Ksenia, called me a slut, when she saw my confessions to Anastaica in Twitter. I talked to Ksenia. I just wanted to tell her that I love Nastya, but couldn’t give that love to her because of the distance between us. I just wanted to tell that I didn’t want to ruin their happiness.
Ksenia felt a bit ashamed and we forgot about it.
I’ve got a message from Nastya. She was leaving her town at that moment.
“I’m drunk. I was barfing. My friends are touching me.”
I didn’t know what to do. I was crying. I love her and I’m taking care of her health. Cancer isn’t a joke. By the way she’s smoking. I just love her and she doesn’t understand this.
I need someone. Someone to love me and be loved by somebody.
Maybe it’s my destiny. Staying lonely forever.

Letter submitted by:



Thank you so much for reaching out to Ask Trevor.  We appreciate your courage, honesty, and sincerity.  Please know that you are a strong, beautiful individual, and we are here for you whenever you need us.

Looking at your letter, it appears that you have very strong feelings regarding your friend Nastya.  These feelings are valid and true; however, if you feel that you are being mistreated and disrespected, your self-care may be lacking.  It is important to always put your emotional needs first, before helping others.  That way, when you do decide to help, you have helped yourself first.

If your friend is struggling right now, perhaps you should reach out to a trusted adult to further assist her and yourself.  Although you have strong feelings for her, you may not be able to provide all the necessary care she needs right now.

As I mentioned before, you are a strong and beautiful person.  Life is a wonderfully unexpected journey.  You have plenty of time to find love, a companion, and your destiny.  Stay positive and know that you have a wonderful support team here at Ask Trevor.  We will always be happy to help. Be sure to take advantage of our other resources, such as Trevor Space, Trevor Chat, and our Trevor Hotline at 1-866-4-U-TREVOR for emergency services.

Take care.



Trevor Staff