Welcome to Ask Trevor

Ask Trevor is an online question and answer resource for young people who have questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity.

On September 1st, Ask Trevor will be transitioning to become a broader more effective resource for LGBTQ young people and their allies. This means we will no longer be accepting incoming letters starting on Tuesday, September 2nd. However, if you send us a letter before September 2nd, you will receive a response. Please note that your wait time may be longer than usual. In the meantime, please continue to browse through our extensive library of previously answered letters, and stay tuned for what’s coming next!

If you are feeling suicidal, or need to talk to someone right away, please call the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386. It’s available 24/7, 365 days a year. You can also chat with a Trevor counselor at Trvr.org/Chat from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. PT / 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. ET.

Please note: If you live outside of the United States and need to talk to someone, please seek help at the nearest emergency room or check out the following international hotlines: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

You are never alone. Thank you for reaching out to The Trevor Project for support!

I never feel hungry EVER


Dear Trevor

Two questions…….one….is putting your wrist in hot hot water called self harming…..or whatever?????….And second my mom thinks I’m become anorexic cause I tend to not eat for a whole day or almost two…..I know that sounds bad but I just can’t eat….I never feel hungry EVER and most times when I eat food…i just feel sick after like throwing up sick:/ idk what to do…..


Submitted by


Dear Bunny:

It’s very courageous of you to reach out and ask for help.  I know that you are going through a difficult time right now. Your mother sounds like she is concerned about you as well.

You asked if putting your wrists under hot water is self-harming. People self-harm  when they purposely inflict pain onto themselves.  Some people find it easier to do this than to deal with their feelings.  It may be difficult for you to express your feelings, but let me tell you—you are not alone. Hurting yourself can feel like it helps at the moment, but you can also seriously burn yourself.  But you can find other ways to express what you are feeling.  If you are feeling angry, you find another way to get the anger out, such as hitting a pillow. If you are sad, you can do something you really enjoy doing—like listening to music or playing your favorite  game or spending time with your friends to help you feel better. You also state that you are having trouble eating food, which is causing your mom to worry that you might be anorexia. You also sound worried about this. It is important for you to try to find someone that you can trust to talk to about both self-harming yourself and the difficulty you are having when you eat. If you can’t talk to your mother, then a counselor at school, a teacher, or your school nurse may be able to listen.

If you ever feeling like hurting yourself again, you can call the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386, where there are counselors on staff 24 hours a day to talk to you.