Ask Trevor

Welcome to Ask Trevor

Ask Trevor is an online question and answer resource for young people who have questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity.

On September 1st, Ask Trevor will be transitioning to become a broader more effective resource for LGBTQ young people and their allies. This means we will no longer be accepting incoming letters starting on Tuesday, September 2nd. However, if you send us a letter before September 2nd, you will receive a response. Please note that your wait time may be longer than usual. In the meantime, please continue to browse through our extensive library of previously answered letters, and stay tuned for what’s coming next!

If you are feeling suicidal, or need to talk to someone right away, please call the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386. It’s available 24/7, 365 days a year. You can also chat with a Trevor counselor at Trvr.org/Chat from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. PT / 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. ET.

Please note: If you live outside of the United States and need to talk to someone, please seek help at the nearest emergency room or check out the following international hotlines: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

You are never alone. Thank you for reaching out to The Trevor Project for support!

i’m always depressed

Question:

I’m 13 and am in 7th grade. At school i feel alone and sad. The only time people talk to me is when they want to cheat off of me. Most of my friends are not in my classes so I only see them at lunch and all they say is a quick hello and then they’re gone. I’m alone alot and I feel so low. I’ve thought about killing myself and asking who would miss me? and the answer is always my parents. not my friends or teachers. then I think they would be glad to have me off their shoulders.

Answer:

I’m so glad that you wrote about everything that you’re feeling and going through. What I can see from your letter is that you are truly an amazing, incredible person, someone who had the strength and courage to reach out to us. I’m so glad that despite how you’re feeling, you haven’t given up on you. You’re definitely worth fighting for and that you found The Trevor Project and wrote to Ask Trevor for help and support is a very big step.

When you’re depressed, it can be very painful to feel, can make you isolate from your friends and family, cause you to be tired all the time and take away your motivation to do things, make you not enjoy the things you usually like to do, make you sleep much less or much more than usual, cause you to eat much less or more than usual and make you see everything in your life in a negative way. Sometimes the depression can get so bad it can make a person think of ending their life. People sometimes think about ending their life when they’re feeling very depressed, feel hopeless that things will get better, and helpless to make things better in their life. Feeling lonely can be really hard. Finding genuine friends, who you can relate to, can be difficult for anyone.

Please know that we at The Trevor Project care about you and believe that you’re a very special person, someone who knows how important it is to reach out for help when you’re in such a hurtful, dangerous and painful place. Please know that if you were no longer here, the world would be a much, much emptier place and that the people in your life, would truly miss you. If you ever have thoughts of killing yourself, it’s very important for your safety that you immediately tell a trusted adult such as a parent, friend’s parent, relative, teacher, school counselor or doctor about your thoughts of suicide order to keep you safe. If you ever feel you’re going to act again on those thoughts, immediately call 911 or get to your nearest hospital emergency room. If there’s no one you feel comfortable talking with or would like more support, you could call the Trevor lifeline at 1-866-4-U-Trevor, 24 hours 7 days a week. Our counselors are here to talk with you about everything you’re feeling and going through and want to do whatever is needed to keep you safe.

As you go through this difficult time, it can be helpful and would be important to get the support you need. You could join TrevorSpace at www.trevorspace.org the Trevor Project’s safe, online social networking site for LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning) young people ages 13 to 24 their friends and straight allies. It’s a great supportive community, where you can connect and chat with young people all over, get support and learn what’s helped others dealing with similar issues. TrevorSpace also has a discussion forum called Support and Advice where you can post questions and discuss what you’re going through with thousands of other LGBTQ young people on http://www.trevorspace.org/forum/cat.php?id=9&sort= .

Please continue to reach out for help and support and to fight for you because you’re definitely worth fighting for. Remember that you can always find support from other young people on TrevorSpace, write to us on Ask Trevor, or call the Trevor Lifeline 24 hours, 7 days a week. Our counselors answer many calls from young people who are experiencing depression, have attempted suicide, and many other really challenging issues. Please know that you don’t have to go through this alone as we’re always here for you at The Trevor Project.

Trevor