Welcome to Ask Trevor

Ask Trevor is an online question and answer resource for young people who have questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity.

On September 1st, Ask Trevor will be transitioning to become a broader more effective resource for LGBTQ young people and their allies. This means we will no longer be accepting incoming letters starting on Tuesday, September 2nd. However, if you send us a letter before September 2nd, you will receive a response. Please note that your wait time may be longer than usual. In the meantime, please continue to browse through our extensive library of previously answered letters, and stay tuned for what’s coming next!

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I’m not sure if I’m gay or not. How do I know for sure?

Question:

I need some advice! I have always known myself to be bi but I have had some doubts about it because I thought I might have been gay! How do I know for sure if I am or not? Please Help!
Kyle

Letter submitted by:

Answer:

Trevor Staff

Thank you for writing to the Trevor Project. When questioning your sexual orientation it is natural and normal. Sometimes we don’t know for sure and it is okay to feel that way. Bi-sexual means you have physical feelings for both genders while being gay means you have attraction and feelings for the same gender.

At this point in time you feel uncertain about your feelings and it a very complex situation to say who you truly are. Often people question their sexual identity, but there are others out there who also do the same. As time changes you may come to a decision whatever that may be. And there’s no right or wrong in choosing who you want to be. To be able to talk about it is your first step. There’s no rush to figure out who you are. Below are some references you might find handy to read.

“I Think I Might Be Gay…Now What Do I Do?”

http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=726&Itemid=336

You’ll find a lot of helpful information on bisexuality. If you click on resources, then bisexuality-general information, then “Bisexuality 101 from PFLAG”.

http://www.bisexual.org

PFLAG’s (Parents, Families & Friends Of Lesbians & Gays) ‘Be Yourself: Questions for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Youth’ at http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Be_Yourself_TT.pdf

In the meantime, you should talk to someone like a trusted friend, parent, relative, teacher, or school counselor. You can also join TrevorSpace for support and help about other people having the same feelings you are having. If you’re not already a member at TrevorSpace here’s the location on that http://www.trevorspace.org/ and just a bit about what it’s about. TrevorSpace is the Trevor Project’s safe, online social networking site for LGBTQ young people ages 13 to 24 their friends and allies. It’s a great supportive online community where others might have or do have the same questions you are having about your sexual identity.

admin

Thank you for writing to the Trevor Project. When questioning your sexual orientation it is natural and normal. Sometimes we don’t know for sure and it is okay to feel that way. Bi-sexual means you have physical feelings for both genders while being gay means you have attraction and feelings for the same gender.

At this point in time you feel uncertain about your feelings and it a very complex situation to say who you truly are. Often people question their sexual identity, but there are others out there who also do the same. As time changes you may come to a decision whatever that may be. And there’s no right or wrong in choosing who you want to be. To be able to talk about it is your first step. There’s no rush to figure out who you are. Below are some references you might find handy to read.

“I Think I Might Be Gay…Now What Do I Do?”
http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=726&Itemid=336

You’ll find a lot of helpful information on bisexuality. If you click on resources, then bisexuality-general information, then “Bisexuality 101 from PFLAG”.

http://www.bisexual.org

PFLAG’s (Parents, Families & Friends Of Lesbians & Gays) ‘Be Yourself: Questions for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Youth’ at http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Be_Yourself_TT.pdf

In the meantime, you should talk to someone like a trusted friend, parent, relative, teacher, or school counselor. You can also join TrevorSpace for support and help about other people having the same feelings you are having. If you’re not already a member at TrevorSpace here’s the location on that http://www.trevorspace.org/ and just a bit about what it’s about. TrevorSpace is the Trevor Project’s safe, online social networking site for LGBTQ young people ages 13 to 24 their friends and allies. It’s a great supportive online community where others might have or do have the same questions you are having about your sexual identity.

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