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Ask Trevor is an online question and answer resource for young people who have questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity.

On September 1st, Ask Trevor will be transitioning to become a broader more effective resource for LGBTQ young people and their allies. This means we will no longer be accepting incoming letters starting on Tuesday, September 2nd. However, if you send us a letter before September 2nd, you will receive a response. Please note that your wait time may be longer than usual. In the meantime, please continue to browse through our extensive library of previously answered letters, and stay tuned for what’s coming next!

If you are feeling suicidal, or need to talk to someone right away, please call the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386. It’s available 24/7, 365 days a year. You can also chat with a Trevor counselor at Trvr.org/Chat from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. PT / 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. ET.

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I’m worried about my best friend


Hello. My name is Adeline. I want to know how to help my best friend, Joey. I’m afraid he’s suicidal. Joey is such an amazing guy, he really does not deserve what he’s going through and what he has gone through. Joey is bisexual and it’s the one year anniversary of his lover’s death next week. Joey ran away about a month or so after Mike(his boyfriend) died because of Mike’s death, the bullying he was getting at school, and Jonathan(his father) was remarrying his mother after abandoning them when Joey was nine. I met him after he ran away one night while I was walking my dog. Joey will randomly say things that suggest suicide to me. He tells me that he doesn’t want to do it anymore and says he’d do anything to be with Mike again. I think he’s cutting himself, too. I never met Mike, but from what I’ve gotten Joey to tell me, they were friends for a really long time and that Mike was there for him before they became lovers. I’m so worried about Joey. I don’t know what to do. He needs help, but I don’t know how or where or anything. I don’t want Joey to kill himself, but how can I prevent that? Thank you for your time.

Letter submitted by:


Hi Adeline,

Thank you for writing. I’m really glad you decided to reach out to help your friend Joey; that is very admirable.  Losing someone who is close to you is always hard, and it sounds like your friend is having a hard time coping with his loss. It is really great that he has a friend like you who cares so much about him. It is important to have a strong support system in times like these, so as hard as it may get stay by your friend’s side to help him through.

Suicide is a very serious issue. If someone is having suicidal thoughts it is imperative that a trusted adult is told right away, whether it be a teacher, parent, counselor, doctor, or relative. It is not an easy thing to do, but you can also take it upon yourself to tell one of these trusted adults on Joey’s behalf. It may just save his life, which down the road he will be grateful for. If there is ever a time when you feel that Joey is going to act on his thoughts call 911 immediately or get him to a hospital.

What you can also do for Joey is have him reach out to us here at The Trevor Project. The Trevor lifeline is available 24 hours 7 days a week at 1-866-4-U-Trevor. Our counselors are always standing by to listen and talk through any problems he may be having.

I hope this helped, and please feel free to reach out again whenever you feel the need. Let Joey know that he is not alone, and he is worth fighting for. We are always here for both you and him at The Trevor Project.

Trevor Staff