Welcome to Ask Trevor

Welcome to Ask Trevor
Ask Trevor is an online, non-time sensitive question and answer resource for young people with questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity. Browse the published letters or submit your own letter.

ATTENTION!
Before submitting a letter, please be aware that letters are experiencing a longer than normal wait period. If you are in immediate crisis, please call The Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386.
All calls are confidential and toll-free from anywhere in the United States, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Please don’t hesitate to reach out. You are not alone.

You can also access TrevorChat, our crisis chat service, at: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/get-help-now available 7 days a week from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. Pacific / 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Eastern.

Please note: If you reside outside the United States and you are currently in crisis or suicidal, you will not be able to access The Trevor Lifeline or TrevorChat. If you are outside of the U.S. and need to talk to someone immediately, please see the following link to international hotlines: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html. If you are suicidal, please seek help at the nearest emergency room.

Your letters are very important to us and all letters will be reviewed and responded to in the near future.

Hope you are having a great summer!

I’m worried about my best friend

Question:

Hello. My name is Adeline. I want to know how to help my best friend, Joey. I’m afraid he’s suicidal. Joey is such an amazing guy, he really does not deserve what he’s going through and what he has gone through. Joey is bisexual and it’s the one year anniversary of his lover’s death next week. Joey ran away about a month or so after Mike(his boyfriend) died because of Mike’s death, the bullying he was getting at school, and Jonathan(his father) was remarrying his mother after abandoning them when Joey was nine. I met him after he ran away one night while I was walking my dog. Joey will randomly say things that suggest suicide to me. He tells me that he doesn’t want to do it anymore and says he’d do anything to be with Mike again. I think he’s cutting himself, too. I never met Mike, but from what I’ve gotten Joey to tell me, they were friends for a really long time and that Mike was there for him before they became lovers. I’m so worried about Joey. I don’t know what to do. He needs help, but I don’t know how or where or anything. I don’t want Joey to kill himself, but how can I prevent that? Thank you for your time.

Letter submitted by:

Answer:

Hi Adeline,

Thank you for writing. I’m really glad you decided to reach out to help your friend Joey; that is very admirable.  Losing someone who is close to you is always hard, and it sounds like your friend is having a hard time coping with his loss. It is really great that he has a friend like you who cares so much about him. It is important to have a strong support system in times like these, so as hard as it may get stay by your friend’s side to help him through.

Suicide is a very serious issue. If someone is having suicidal thoughts it is imperative that a trusted adult is told right away, whether it be a teacher, parent, counselor, doctor, or relative. It is not an easy thing to do, but you can also take it upon yourself to tell one of these trusted adults on Joey’s behalf. It may just save his life, which down the road he will be grateful for. If there is ever a time when you feel that Joey is going to act on his thoughts call 911 immediately or get him to a hospital.

What you can also do for Joey is have him reach out to us here at The Trevor Project. The Trevor lifeline is available 24 hours 7 days a week at 1-866-4-U-Trevor. Our counselors are always standing by to listen and talk through any problems he may be having.

I hope this helped, and please feel free to reach out again whenever you feel the need. Let Joey know that he is not alone, and he is worth fighting for. We are always here for both you and him at The Trevor Project.

Trevor Staff