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Is There a Chance….?

Question:

Since the beginning of Sept. I’ve been interacting with this new (now old) foriegn student from Honduras. We don’t really verbally interact because her native language is Spanish and she knows little English, everything is mostly physical. We have 6th period together and everyday I give her hug, when the class is blocked (meaning we have two hours) I call her to the back with me and my friends and we joked around. I wouldn’t say I’m popular but I’m well-known around school because of goofy and carefree nature, I like to have a good time. Usually I’ll always be hanging in the doorway crackin’ a few jokes with some friends before I actually go to class and while I’m doing that I notice that she looks at me, like really stares. When I turn around to go in and face her, she’s still looking and when I acknowledge her presence with a smile she’ll do this smirk – it’s so sexy. I can never look her in the eyes, God I swear it’s the most intense look ever. I’ve never held eye contact with her, only quick glances before saying “Hey” and “How are you” before giving her a hug. When we hug I always put my arms around her waist – and she accepts it – Plus if she’s sitting at her desk and if I’m in a close position, she’ll hold my waist with her hand tightly as I lean down to hug her. She always squeezes my sides and when we break apart it’s quick but at the same time it’s slow as if she wouldn’t mind if I held on a little longer.

I’m a tomboy so my sexuality has always been questioned but only five of my closest friends know that I’m bisexual but when it comes Miss Honduras – no one would second guess her sexuality. She’s a makeup-wearing girly girl so it’s hard to tell if she’s LGBT.

All I wanna know is if there’s any chance that she may be bi or a lesbian and if she might like me. Or, if sadly, she’s just being nice.

 

Answer:

 

While certain visual characteristics may give us clues to someone’s sexuality, let’s remember we can’t actually tell sexuality by appearance.

There are plenty of lesbian-identifying individuals that are very feminine. Having said that, your friend may very well be interested in you, given the cues you have described. Even if she may not strictly identify as lesbian or bisexual, let’s keep in mind that sexuality is often ever-changing with different relationships. You, for instance, may be the one to change that in her.

If I’m not wrong, getting a chance at a relationship with her sounds like your ultimate goal and reason behind finding out her sexuality. Depending on how comfortable you feel with her, here are several suggestions for your situation.

In a one-on-one setting, you can open up about your own sexuality/life story and perhaps hope that she will open up about her own life experiences as well. If appropriate, you could straightforwardly ask about her sexuality while on the topic.
You could directly tell her how you feel about her and ask for feedback.
Be emotionally prepared, however, for the case that she doesn’t respond well.
If you prefer a more indirect of investigating, perhaps you could ask her out on a date and get to know her better that way.

Best of luck!
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