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My feelings

Question:

I have been talking to two different people on Skype and I like both of them one person is a boy and the other person is a girl. The boy is two years older then me and I think I’m falling in love with both of them but I don’t know what to do. Please help. I don’t know who to tell my mom will get mad if I told her and my grandma doesn’t know a lot about social networks so I can’t tell her. I don’t know what to do anymore.

Letter submitted by:

Answer:

Trevor Staff

Thank you for writing with your question, it is a complicated dilemma you are facing. At one point or another many people find themselves romantically interested in multiple people. In these situations it is useful to find someone who knows you and possibly knows the other person that might be able to give you perspective. It sounds like you have some concerns with talking to your family. Do you have a close friend that you trust with the situation and these feelings?

There are a couple of important factors you may want to consider in this situation. First, take some time to reflect on your own feelings and be honest with yourself about your feelings. Having feelings for multiple individuals is completely normal and acceptable, the important part is to understanding your feelings for both individuals. Second, it is important to be honest with both individuals. If you are developing feelings it is possible that the other individuals may be as well. If you feel comfortable it might be beneficial to talk with the two people you have feelings for and see if they are having similar feelings for you. While the conversations may be challenging knowing what the other individuals are feeling might give you further perspective. If you talk with the other individuals and find that one or both individuals do not share the same feelings take heart that in life there are times where our feelings for another might not be returned. If you find yourself faced with unreciprocated love it may hurt but it may also ease some of the concerns you are facing. Finally, any steps you take make sure they are taken at your own pace and when you are ready. Only you can truly know if you are falling in love with the two individuals and only you are the one who can decide when or if it is the best time share those feelings. Listen to your gut and your heart for guidance on what you are feeling and when to share.

Please know that regardless what path you decide to take it is always important to have someone to talk to when faced feelings of the heart. Finding a trusted friend or adult is one of the most important steps to take, so that regardless of the outcome you are not facing this alone. Feel free to write again as the situation develops and best wishes.

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