Welcome to Ask Trevor

Ask Trevor is an online, non-time sensitive question and answer resource for young people with questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity. Browse the published letters or submit your own letter.

If you are in immediate crisis, please call The Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386. All calls are confidential and toll-free from anywhere in the United States, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Please don’t hesitate to reach out. You are not alone.

You can also access TrevorChat, our crisis chat service, at: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/get-help-now available 7 days a week from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. Pacific / 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Eastern.

Your letters are very important to us and all letters will be reviewed and responded to in the near future.

Please note: If you reside outside the United States and you are currently in crisis or suicidal, you will not be able to access The Trevor Lifeline or TrevorChat. If you are outside of the U.S. and need to talk to someone immediately, please see the following link to hotlines outside the United States: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html. If you are suicidal, please seek help at the nearest emergency room.

My friend tried to kill herself

Question:

My friend tried to kill herself. You would never guess that she did. She is popular and pretty, she knows she is straight with confidence and she has a boyfriend. She has a lot going for her expect that she has an eating disorder and is depressed and has anxiety. She just told me all this tonight. She told me that over the summer she tried to over dose on pills. She threw up though, before it killed her. I am so scared now. I don’t think she has tried to kill herself since but I’m afraid she might. She does see a therapist and seems to be happy, but still a lot of girls in our grade hate her and it makes her hate herself. They hate her because they think her life is perfect and that she flirts with the all the guys. My friend can be annoying like that, and sometimes I can’t help but gossip about her, though I try not too. I’m really scared for my friends well being. I’m not sure what to say or do.

Answer:

Hi,

I’m so glad that you wrote about everything that you’re feeling and going through because it helps me get to know you better. You sound like a very caring and thoughtful friend and she is lucky to have you in her life. The best thing you can do for her is have her reach out to us directly.

Please know that we at The Trevor Project care about you/your friend and believe that the two of you are very special people. Anyone who has thoughts of killing themselves needs to immediately tell a trusted adult such as a parent, friend’s parent, relative, teacher, school counselor or doctor about the thoughts of suicide to make sure everyone is safe. In fact, it is probably a good idea to tell someone on your friend’s behalf. Although it does not seem like the easiest thing to do, when it comes to life and death you have to make tough decisions. If you ever feel she is going to act again on those thoughts, immediately call 911 or get her to the nearest hospital emergency room.

If there’s no one you feel comfortable talking with or would like more support, you could call the Trevor lifeline at 1-866-4-U-Trevor, 24 hours 7 days a week. Our caring, understanding and supportive counselors are here to talk with you about everything you’re feeling and going through and want to do whatever is needed to keep you safe.

Please get your friend to reach out for support. Remember that both of you can always write to us on Ask Trevor and call the Trevor Lifeline 24 hours, 7 days a week. Our counselors answer many calls from young people who are experiencing depression, have attempted suicide, and many other really challenging issues. Please know that you don’t have to go through this alone as we’re always here for you at The Trevor Project.

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