Welcome to Ask Trevor

Ask Trevor is an online, non-time sensitive question and answer resource for young people with questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity. Browse the published letters or submit your own letter.

If you are in immediate crisis, please call The Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386. All calls are confidential and toll-free from anywhere in the United States, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Please don’t hesitate to reach out. You are not alone.

You can also access TrevorChat, our crisis chat service, at: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/get-help-now available 7 days a week from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. Pacific / 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Eastern.

Your letters are very important to us and all letters will be reviewed and responded to in the near future.

Please note: If you reside outside the United States and you are currently in crisis or suicidal, you will not be able to access The Trevor Lifeline or TrevorChat. If you are outside of the U.S. and need to talk to someone immediately, please see the following link to hotlines outside the United States: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html. If you are suicidal, please seek help at the nearest emergency room.

My secrets way me down

Question:

Hi, my name is Kiera and I’m bisexual. I’ve known about my sexuality since I was a kid in preschool I even had my first girlfriend and boyfriend. When I realized what I felt toward both genders I knew I had to keep it a secret. I even tried to pray it away. I wanted god to know that I’d do anything as long as he would take away these feelings because I knew no one would accept me. I am now a freshman in High school and I’ll be turning 15 in just a few days. I recently came out to some of my friends and they still love me just the same. They don’t treat me any different and I am grateful. I haven’t told any family members. I am 75% positive that I will be kicked out or hit or cursed out and maybe even taken to church so they can pray it away. Keeping this secret is killing me on the inside and I cry almost every day. I said I’d wait to tell them until I was on my own and able to support myself. I might not last that long. I have had trouble with depression, anxiety and self-harm since the 4th grade and I stopped cutting in the 7th grade and I’ve been in recovery ever since. I feel myself losing control. I’m not sure what I hoped to gain from typing this letter. Can someone give me advice? Support? Reassurance that I’m not making a mistake by staying in the “closet”, Help me please.

Letter submitted by:

Answer:

Trevor Staff