Welcome to Ask Trevor

Ask Trevor is an online question and answer resource for young people who have questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity.

On September 1st, Ask Trevor will be transitioning to become a broader more effective resource for LGBTQ young people and their allies. This means we will no longer be accepting incoming letters starting on Tuesday, September 2nd. However, if you send us a letter before September 2nd, you will receive a response. Please note that your wait time may be longer than usual. In the meantime, please continue to browse through our extensive library of previously answered letters, and stay tuned for what’s coming next!

If you are feeling suicidal, or need to talk to someone right away, please call the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386. It’s available 24/7, 365 days a year. You can also chat with a Trevor counselor at Trvr.org/Chat from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. PT / 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. ET.

Please note: If you live outside of the United States and need to talk to someone, please seek help at the nearest emergency room or check out the following international hotlines: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

You are never alone. Thank you for reaching out to The Trevor Project for support!

My secrets way me down

Question:

Hi, my name is Kiera and I’m bisexual. I’ve known about my sexuality since I was a kid in preschool I even had my first girlfriend and boyfriend. When I realized what I felt toward both genders I knew I had to keep it a secret. I even tried to pray it away. I wanted god to know that I’d do anything as long as he would take away these feelings because I knew no one would accept me. I am now a freshman in High school and I’ll be turning 15 in just a few days. I recently came out to some of my friends and they still love me just the same. They don’t treat me any different and I am grateful. I haven’t told any family members. I am 75% positive that I will be kicked out or hit or cursed out and maybe even taken to church so they can pray it away. Keeping this secret is killing me on the inside and I cry almost every day. I said I’d wait to tell them until I was on my own and able to support myself. I might not last that long. I have had trouble with depression, anxiety and self-harm since the 4th grade and I stopped cutting in the 7th grade and I’ve been in recovery ever since. I feel myself losing control. I’m not sure what I hoped to gain from typing this letter. Can someone give me advice? Support? Reassurance that I’m not making a mistake by staying in the “closet”, Help me please.

Letter submitted by:

Answer:

Trevor Staff