Welcome to Ask Trevor

Ask Trevor is an online question and answer resource for young people who have questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity.

On September 1st, Ask Trevor will be transitioning to become a broader more effective resource for LGBTQ young people and their allies. This means we will no longer be accepting incoming letters starting on Tuesday, September 2nd. However, if you send us a letter before September 2nd, you will receive a response. Please note that your wait time may be longer than usual. In the meantime, please continue to browse through our extensive library of previously answered letters, and stay tuned for what’s coming next!

If you are feeling suicidal, or need to talk to someone right away, please call the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386. It’s available 24/7, 365 days a year. You can also chat with a Trevor counselor at Trvr.org/Chat from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. PT / 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. ET.

Please note: If you live outside of the United States and need to talk to someone, please seek help at the nearest emergency room or check out the following international hotlines: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

You are never alone. Thank you for reaching out to The Trevor Project for support!

need help like now!!

Question:

I guess I did something real bad today ..I might even get caught for what I did….I wrote a letter to a guy in my school pouring my heart out writing two pages long and I kept it under his desk ….and I saw my class mate reading Wut I wrote and I did nothing to stop him from reading Cus I was afraid that I would get outed and humiliated publicly and really nobody would want to get humiliated by a deadbeat …..I’m scared right now and I really Dont know Wut to do please help me!

 

Answer:

 

Dear Vivek-

You did an incredibly brave thing by putting your thoughts and feelings into a letter and leaving it for the guy you like to read. Of course doing this had some risk and you took that risk- feeling nervous about the outcome of your actions is very normal and I’m sure quite scary.

You said you saw your classmate reading the letter and you did not stop him for fear of making a scene publicly about the letter and I think that was a good idea. Let him read the letter and digest what was written. What you didn’t mention was if you signed the letter. If you did and your classmate did not make a scene this could mean he is equally nervous about what was written in there and doesn’t want to bring that out in the public either. It also means he respects you and this is a sign that you may be able to trust him. If you did not sign it, then he is probably very curious about who wrote such an emotional letter to him and he may try to figure that out. You of course have a choice on whether you admit to writing the letter or remain quiet. You should judge this carefully based on how your classmate is reacting, if he is being discrete or disrespectful etc.

You also did not mention if your classmate is gay or bisexual or even into guys. If you’re unsure or if he is unsure this could also cause a flood of confused thoughts and feelings. I think you need to give this scenario some time to play out and make sure that you do not put yourself in a position where you could be harmed by anyone at school.

Coming out can be a very exciting, confusing, stressful and emotional process and you are not alone! There are many support groups and channels where you can turn for help. You can always count on The Trevor Project – there are people here you can talk to via Trevor Chat or Trevor Text here: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/get-help-now or there is someone here 24 hours a day 7 days a week on the Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386

You may also want to connect with people your age who may be dealing with similar issues at TrevorSpace.org.

Stay Safe Brave Vivek-
With Love,
Trevor