Welcome to Ask Trevor

Welcome to Ask Trevor
Ask Trevor is an online, non-time sensitive question and answer resource for young people with questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity. Browse the published letters or submit your own letter.

ATTENTION!
Before submitting a letter, please be aware that letters are experiencing a longer than normal wait period. If you are in immediate crisis, please call The Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386.
All calls are confidential and toll-free from anywhere in the United States, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Please don’t hesitate to reach out. You are not alone.

You can also access TrevorChat, our crisis chat service, at: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/get-help-now available 7 days a week from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. Pacific / 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Eastern.

Please note: If you reside outside the United States and you are currently in crisis or suicidal, you will not be able to access The Trevor Lifeline or TrevorChat. If you are outside of the U.S. and need to talk to someone immediately, please see the following link to international hotlines: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html. If you are suicidal, please seek help at the nearest emergency room.

Your letters are very important to us and all letters will be reviewed and responded to in the near future.

Hope you are having a great summer!

need help like now!!

Question:

I guess I did something real bad today ..I might even get caught for what I did….I wrote a letter to a guy in my school pouring my heart out writing two pages long and I kept it under his desk ….and I saw my class mate reading Wut I wrote and I did nothing to stop him from reading Cus I was afraid that I would get outed and humiliated publicly and really nobody would want to get humiliated by a deadbeat …..I’m scared right now and I really Dont know Wut to do please help me!

 

Answer:

 

Dear Vivek-

You did an incredibly brave thing by putting your thoughts and feelings into a letter and leaving it for the guy you like to read. Of course doing this had some risk and you took that risk- feeling nervous about the outcome of your actions is very normal and I’m sure quite scary.

You said you saw your classmate reading the letter and you did not stop him for fear of making a scene publicly about the letter and I think that was a good idea. Let him read the letter and digest what was written. What you didn’t mention was if you signed the letter. If you did and your classmate did not make a scene this could mean he is equally nervous about what was written in there and doesn’t want to bring that out in the public either. It also means he respects you and this is a sign that you may be able to trust him. If you did not sign it, then he is probably very curious about who wrote such an emotional letter to him and he may try to figure that out. You of course have a choice on whether you admit to writing the letter or remain quiet. You should judge this carefully based on how your classmate is reacting, if he is being discrete or disrespectful etc.

You also did not mention if your classmate is gay or bisexual or even into guys. If you’re unsure or if he is unsure this could also cause a flood of confused thoughts and feelings. I think you need to give this scenario some time to play out and make sure that you do not put yourself in a position where you could be harmed by anyone at school.

Coming out can be a very exciting, confusing, stressful and emotional process and you are not alone! There are many support groups and channels where you can turn for help. You can always count on The Trevor Project – there are people here you can talk to via Trevor Chat or Trevor Text here: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/get-help-now or there is someone here 24 hours a day 7 days a week on the Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386

You may also want to connect with people your age who may be dealing with similar issues at TrevorSpace.org.

Stay Safe Brave Vivek-
With Love,
Trevor