Welcome to Ask Trevor

Ask Trevor is an online question and answer resource for young people who have questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity.

On September 1st, Ask Trevor will be transitioning to become a broader more effective resource for LGBTQ young people and their allies. This means we will no longer be accepting incoming letters starting on Tuesday, September 2nd. However, if you send us a letter before September 2nd, you will receive a response. Please note that your wait time may be longer than usual. In the meantime, please continue to browse through our extensive library of previously answered letters, and stay tuned for what’s coming next!

If you are feeling suicidal, or need to talk to someone right away, please call the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386. It’s available 24/7, 365 days a year. You can also chat with a Trevor counselor at Trvr.org/Chat from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. PT / 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. ET.

Please note: If you live outside of the United States and need to talk to someone, please seek help at the nearest emergency room or check out the following international hotlines: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

You are never alone. Thank you for reaching out to The Trevor Project for support!

no one gets it

Question:

Hey to the world out there. So I am a gay teen and it has been really hard to hide from my family. I mean like I am out to everyone but them. My friends tell me I always have them but lately I want someone else to get me and get it. I wanted to be around another gay guy but there are none around here. I really just want someone to love me and I mean love me not like a friend loves another friend but the way a boyfriend love his boyfriend. I just want to be able to find someone that will truly love me for me.

Answer:

Hello,

Thanks for writing! I hope I can begin to help you feel a little better about where you are in your life.  I love to hear from our friends out there who have some unanswered questions or concerns.  I am happy to read that you have decided to come out to some of your close friends. This can be very challenging for some and I applaud your level of comfort in doing so. Give yourself some credit for that! When you feel the time is right, you may choose to tell your family.  Everyone’s process for coming out, especially to family, is very different.

In response to wanting someone else to “get you,” it can be difficult for you to see your peers around you dating and exploring parts of their life that you have yet to see.  You might feel that they do not understand who you are or what you are going through. Just know that you are going through a different process than them. Everyone is different. You should know that if they are your true friends, they will listen to you. It seems you surround yourself with people who care for you and want to help you. You might choose to get involved in a club or group that offers you different connections. It doesn’t need to be LBGT related, it can be anything.  It is hard to put yourself out there, but meeting new people in your life may be helpful. You should talk with a trusted adult in your life if you desire to get involved in the community. And don’t forget, you should also be patient with yourself. Sometimes going at your own pace and doing what you feel most comfortable with, will allow you to feel much better about yourself in the end.

Just always know that you are not alone. A good place you might choose to start is at Trevor Space (trevorspace.org). It is run by the Trevor Project and designed as a safe and easy place for LGBT youth to meet and talk. You might be able to meet people your age going through a similar situation. You might also try some of these few websites: (http://community.pflag.org/ and http://www.youthresource.com/)

Don’t forget, you can always call us on the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386 or chat with us on TrevorChat (http://www.thetrevorproject.org/chat).

Thanks for being you!

Sincerely,

Trevor Staff