Welcome to Ask Trevor

Welcome to Ask Trevor
Ask Trevor is an online, non-time sensitive question and answer resource for young people with questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity. Browse the published letters or submit your own letter.

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Hope you are having a great summer!

Self Esteem is very low, what do I do to help myself with it?

Question:

When I was in elementary school I was bullied a lot, I’ve lost most of my self-esteem and I put myself down every day calling myself fat, ugly or other things they told me. I dont know what to do, my friends say it isn’t true but I cant believe them, all I believe are what the kids told me, I’ve skipped meals many times and regret every time I look in the mirror. I always put myself down and I call myself worthless. I’m a disappointment to my parents, I can never make them happy. I always have low grades and they are never happy with what I do, I wish I could make them proud. My friends always say I’m pretty and I try to believe them but its really hard.

 

Answer:

 

Hi Frida,

Thanks for writing in to Ask Trevor! Feeling hurt or insecure because of the mean things bullies have said is very normal. It was not right for anyone to pick on you or make you feel worthless. I know it can be hard to find the confidence in yourself to forget the hurtful things they have said to you, but all you can do is keep your head up and move on. It sounds like you have great friends who want to help you through this and remind you that you are wonderful just the way you are. Your health and happiness is very important to so many people around you.

Maybe one thing you can start doing is writing in a journal. Each day, you can write just one thing you like about yourself or something good that happened in your day. This can include so many different things, such as being a good friend, holding the door open for someone, having a really good laugh, finding a new hobby or a great book, etc. Or you can make goals for yourself like studying extra hard for your next test or trusting your friends when they tell you nice things about yourself. Sometimes, taking little steps in life can lead to a big growth before you even know it!!

Also, if you feel comfortable, you could speak with your parents about how you are feeling. They might be able to help if they understand what you are going through.

If you are ever feeling alone and want to talk to other people your age, you can log onto TrevorSpace. It’s an online social networking website for LGBTQ young people ages 13-24, their friends, and allies. The website has users from over 100 countries, and the site allows members to connect, share thoughts, ideas, and experiences with one another. The website is secure and monitored regularly to make it a safe, youth-friendly space.

Sincerely,
Your friends at Ask Trevor