Welcome to Ask Trevor

Ask Trevor is an online question and answer resource for young people who have questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity.

On September 1st, Ask Trevor will be transitioning to become a broader more effective resource for LGBTQ young people and their allies. This means we will no longer be accepting incoming letters starting on Tuesday, September 2nd. However, if you send us a letter before September 2nd, you will receive a response. Please note that your wait time may be longer than usual. In the meantime, please continue to browse through our extensive library of previously answered letters, and stay tuned for what’s coming next!

If you are feeling suicidal, or need to talk to someone right away, please call the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386. It’s available 24/7, 365 days a year. You can also chat with a Trevor counselor at Trvr.org/Chat from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. PT / 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. ET.

Please note: If you live outside of the United States and need to talk to someone, please seek help at the nearest emergency room or check out the following international hotlines: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

You are never alone. Thank you for reaching out to The Trevor Project for support!

Unsure

Question:

So I am a female 22 years old. I come from a super religious family so I have never been able to talk to anyone about the feeling I have been having. I like boys and girls but sometimes I think i should have been a boy. But I don;t wish I was a boy because I want to date girls I want to date boys. I wonder I should have been bore a gay boy not a confused girl. Is this weird? I have never heard anyone say something like this before. I feel like a freak like there is something wrong with me.

Answer:

Hi

First I want to let you know that you are not “weird” nor are you a “freak” You are a perfectly normal, maturing young woman. The feelings you are experiencing are very normal. Please do not spend any more time worrying in this regard. Take a deep breath and be happy that you have loving feelings!

Our upbringing can and often does affect how we feel about many issues, and sexuality is one of them. Once again, while it may feel overwhelming at times, our sexuality is a personal matter and not a religious one. Sometimes simply talking to someone who doesn’t know us personally but who can offer an unbiased opinion is wonderful. You are not alone. Do you have a good friend with whom you can share your true feelings? The fact that you are reaching out now for some answers is very encouraging and you are to be commended.

As humans we are constantly evolving and learning about ourselves. Our feelings can change on a daily basis. Please keep an open mind and let nature and maturity take it’s course. Having feelings for both sexes is also very common, so don’t let this consume you. If at any point you feel as if counseling is needed, go forward with no feelings of guilt or trepidation. There are people who want to help you.

In closing, embrace who you are. The fact that you are questioning your feelings is both healthy and positive. A good source of information is always available on the “Trevor Project” website and is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Getting to know and accept ourselves is a life long journey. You are a young woman on the beginning of your own journey and your feelings are very healthy and normal.

Trevor