Ask Trevor

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Question:

So I am a female 22 years old. I come from a super religious family so I have never been able to talk to anyone about the feeling I have been having. I like boys and girls but sometimes I think i should have been a boy. But I don;t wish I was a boy because I want to date girls I want to date boys. I wonder I should have been bore a gay boy not a confused girl. Is this weird? I have never heard anyone say something like this before. I feel like a freak like there is something wrong with me.

Answer:

Hi

First I want to let you know that you are not “weird” nor are you a “freak” You are a perfectly normal, maturing young woman. The feelings you are experiencing are very normal. Please do not spend any more time worrying in this regard. Take a deep breath and be happy that you have loving feelings!

Our upbringing can and often does affect how we feel about many issues, and sexuality is one of them. Once again, while it may feel overwhelming at times, our sexuality is a personal matter and not a religious one. Sometimes simply talking to someone who doesn’t know us personally but who can offer an unbiased opinion is wonderful. You are not alone. Do you have a good friend with whom you can share your true feelings? The fact that you are reaching out now for some answers is very encouraging and you are to be commended.

As humans we are constantly evolving and learning about ourselves. Our feelings can change on a daily basis. Please keep an open mind and let nature and maturity take it’s course. Having feelings for both sexes is also very common, so don’t let this consume you. If at any point you feel as if counseling is needed, go forward with no feelings of guilt or trepidation. There are people who want to help you.

In closing, embrace who you are. The fact that you are questioning your feelings is both healthy and positive. A good source of information is always available on the “Trevor Project” website and is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Getting to know and accept ourselves is a life long journey. You are a young woman on the beginning of your own journey and your feelings are very healthy and normal.

Trevor