Welcome to Ask Trevor

Welcome to Ask Trevor
Ask Trevor is an online, non-time sensitive question and answer resource for young people with questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity. Browse the published letters or submit your own letter.

ATTENTION!
Before submitting a letter, please be aware that letters are experiencing a longer than normal wait period. If you are in immediate crisis, please call The Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386.
All calls are confidential and toll-free from anywhere in the United States, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Please don’t hesitate to reach out. You are not alone.

You can also access TrevorChat, our crisis chat service, at: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/get-help-now available 7 days a week from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. Pacific / 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Eastern.

Please note: If you reside outside the United States and you are currently in crisis or suicidal, you will not be able to access The Trevor Lifeline or TrevorChat. If you are outside of the U.S. and need to talk to someone immediately, please see the following link to international hotlines: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html. If you are suicidal, please seek help at the nearest emergency room.

Your letters are very important to us and all letters will be reviewed and responded to in the near future.

Hope you are having a great summer!

Unsure

Question:

So I am a female 22 years old. I come from a super religious family so I have never been able to talk to anyone about the feeling I have been having. I like boys and girls but sometimes I think i should have been a boy. But I don;t wish I was a boy because I want to date girls I want to date boys. I wonder I should have been bore a gay boy not a confused girl. Is this weird? I have never heard anyone say something like this before. I feel like a freak like there is something wrong with me.

Answer:

Hi

First I want to let you know that you are not “weird” nor are you a “freak” You are a perfectly normal, maturing young woman. The feelings you are experiencing are very normal. Please do not spend any more time worrying in this regard. Take a deep breath and be happy that you have loving feelings!

Our upbringing can and often does affect how we feel about many issues, and sexuality is one of them. Once again, while it may feel overwhelming at times, our sexuality is a personal matter and not a religious one. Sometimes simply talking to someone who doesn’t know us personally but who can offer an unbiased opinion is wonderful. You are not alone. Do you have a good friend with whom you can share your true feelings? The fact that you are reaching out now for some answers is very encouraging and you are to be commended.

As humans we are constantly evolving and learning about ourselves. Our feelings can change on a daily basis. Please keep an open mind and let nature and maturity take it’s course. Having feelings for both sexes is also very common, so don’t let this consume you. If at any point you feel as if counseling is needed, go forward with no feelings of guilt or trepidation. There are people who want to help you.

In closing, embrace who you are. The fact that you are questioning your feelings is both healthy and positive. A good source of information is always available on the “Trevor Project” website and is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Getting to know and accept ourselves is a life long journey. You are a young woman on the beginning of your own journey and your feelings are very healthy and normal.

Trevor