Welcome to Ask Trevor

Ask Trevor is an online question and answer resource for young people who have questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity.

On September 1st, Ask Trevor will be transitioning to become a broader more effective resource for LGBTQ young people and their allies. This means we will no longer be accepting incoming letters starting on Tuesday, September 2nd. However, if you send us a letter before September 2nd, you will receive a response. Please note that your wait time may be longer than usual. In the meantime, please continue to browse through our extensive library of previously answered letters, and stay tuned for what’s coming next!

If you are feeling suicidal, or need to talk to someone right away, please call the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386. It’s available 24/7, 365 days a year. You can also chat with a Trevor counselor at Trvr.org/Chat from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. PT / 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. ET.

Please note: If you live outside of the United States and need to talk to someone, please seek help at the nearest emergency room or check out the following international hotlines: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

You are never alone. Thank you for reaching out to The Trevor Project for support!

Why Him?

Question:

There is this incredible guy. I’ve never met anyone as perfect as him. I fell for him the minute we met. We’re really good friends and I don’t want to ruin this friendship. Can you say cliche? I’ve hit random moments of depression when I think of him (which is a lot) and I’ve harmed myself because of it. No one sees my wrist cuts. They healed incredibly fast but lately, to hide them, I’ve cut on my legs. I don’t want him to see them. He doesn’t need to worry about me. I really want to ask him out but I fear the worst and I don’t really fear anything. I’ve never told anyone I love them but I would say it to him in a heartbeat. He’s the best thing in my life right now. I don’t want to lose him but I have to take a chance for once in my life. My head says no my heart says go. I just don’t know if I should listen to my head or my heart.

Letter submitted by:

Answer:

Hello,

Thank you for writing Trevor Project and sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to disclose your thoughts and feelings. Many of us at one point in our lives have experienced an intense crush.  It could consume our thoughts.  It’s great that the two of you are good friends. That’s wonderful! Many relationships evolve from friendships.  Maybe someday, you can tell him how you feel. Take it slow for now and enjoy your friendship.  You never know, it may evolve into something more in the future.  Love can consume our thoughts… however, it is important to take care of yourself, especially when you are not feeling so great. Sorry that you have been experiencing moments of depression that have resulted in self-harm. When you are depressed, it can be very painful and it can make you isolate yourself from your friends and family, lose motivation, lose sleep, eat much less, and make you see everything in your life in a negative way.  In some cases, people who cannot overcome their feelings of depression and hopelessness resort to suicide. Know that you are loved, appreciated, and are way too valuable to everyone around you. Please take the precautionary steps to assist you in bring to an end, the harmful behavior. It is very important that you speak with a trusted adult (parent, relative, doctor, teacher, or school counselor) immediately about your thoughts and harmful behavior.  If there is no one you feel comfortable talking with, you can always call the Trevor lifeline at 1-866-4-U-TREVOR, 24 hours 7 days a week. And to chat with other young people like yourself, please visit The Trevor Project’s social networking site, TrevorSpace at: www.TrevorSpace.org.  It can also help you to speak with a mental health professional, such as a social worker, psychologist, or psychiatrist about what you’re feeling and going through and to address the harmful behavior. Again, please know that you are not alone. If you continue to have moments of depression please do NOT hesitate to call the Trevor lifeline at 1-866-4-U-TREVOR, 24 hours 7 days a week.  Feel free to writing back with any questions. Take care and good luck.

Trevor Staff