Welcome to Ask Trevor

Welcome to Ask Trevor
Ask Trevor is an online, non-time sensitive question and answer resource for young people with questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity. Browse the published letters or submit your own letter.

ATTENTION!
Before submitting a letter, please be aware that letters are experiencing a longer than normal wait period. If you are in immediate crisis, please call The Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386.
All calls are confidential and toll-free from anywhere in the United States, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Please don’t hesitate to reach out. You are not alone.

You can also access TrevorChat, our crisis chat service, at: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/get-help-now available 7 days a week from 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. Pacific / 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Eastern.

Please note: If you reside outside the United States and you are currently in crisis or suicidal, you will not be able to access The Trevor Lifeline or TrevorChat. If you are outside of the U.S. and need to talk to someone immediately, please see the following link to international hotlines: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html. If you are suicidal, please seek help at the nearest emergency room.

Your letters are very important to us and all letters will be reviewed and responded to in the near future.

Hope you are having a great summer!

Why Him?

Question:

There is this incredible guy. I’ve never met anyone as perfect as him. I fell for him the minute we met. We’re really good friends and I don’t want to ruin this friendship. Can you say cliche? I’ve hit random moments of depression when I think of him (which is a lot) and I’ve harmed myself because of it. No one sees my wrist cuts. They healed incredibly fast but lately, to hide them, I’ve cut on my legs. I don’t want him to see them. He doesn’t need to worry about me. I really want to ask him out but I fear the worst and I don’t really fear anything. I’ve never told anyone I love them but I would say it to him in a heartbeat. He’s the best thing in my life right now. I don’t want to lose him but I have to take a chance for once in my life. My head says no my heart says go. I just don’t know if I should listen to my head or my heart.

Letter submitted by:

Answer:

Hello,

Thank you for writing Trevor Project and sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to disclose your thoughts and feelings. Many of us at one point in our lives have experienced an intense crush.  It could consume our thoughts.  It’s great that the two of you are good friends. That’s wonderful! Many relationships evolve from friendships.  Maybe someday, you can tell him how you feel. Take it slow for now and enjoy your friendship.  You never know, it may evolve into something more in the future.  Love can consume our thoughts… however, it is important to take care of yourself, especially when you are not feeling so great. Sorry that you have been experiencing moments of depression that have resulted in self-harm. When you are depressed, it can be very painful and it can make you isolate yourself from your friends and family, lose motivation, lose sleep, eat much less, and make you see everything in your life in a negative way.  In some cases, people who cannot overcome their feelings of depression and hopelessness resort to suicide. Know that you are loved, appreciated, and are way too valuable to everyone around you. Please take the precautionary steps to assist you in bring to an end, the harmful behavior. It is very important that you speak with a trusted adult (parent, relative, doctor, teacher, or school counselor) immediately about your thoughts and harmful behavior.  If there is no one you feel comfortable talking with, you can always call the Trevor lifeline at 1-866-4-U-TREVOR, 24 hours 7 days a week. And to chat with other young people like yourself, please visit The Trevor Project’s social networking site, TrevorSpace at: www.TrevorSpace.org.  It can also help you to speak with a mental health professional, such as a social worker, psychologist, or psychiatrist about what you’re feeling and going through and to address the harmful behavior. Again, please know that you are not alone. If you continue to have moments of depression please do NOT hesitate to call the Trevor lifeline at 1-866-4-U-TREVOR, 24 hours 7 days a week.  Feel free to writing back with any questions. Take care and good luck.

Trevor Staff